| | | | Dear Friend, Happy Purim! Today, T’ruah is launching a new brand, and we are giving you an exclusive discount! T’ruamazon Prime - just $6.13/month Justice: It’s no longer just for the rich! Now it can be yours for the price of a latte! Or upgrade to... T’ruamazon Premium - $18.00/month For second-class Human Rights, with T’ruah Premium you receive: Or upgrade to our most exclusive level... T’ruamazon Priceless - $57.80/month Premium justice usually costs hundreds of thousands of dollars, but it can be yours today for just a few hundred a year! At our highest membership level, with T’ruah Priceless, we are pleased to offer you: - “Third Rail Unemployment Insurance.” Go ahead, fire off that late-night tweet about Netanyahu. If the US President can do it, why shouldn’t you? And now, you won’t have to worry about the consequences. With Third Rail Unemployment Insurance, after you get fired from your job, T’ruah Priceless will cover your salary losses until you either find a new job or win your lawsuit against the bastards! T’ruah’s got your back like the Senate's got the President's!
- Unprecedented access to all of the deleted scenes of the Trump Peace Plan, “Peace to Prosperity: A Vision to Improve the Lives of the Palestinian and Israeli People.” If you were shocked to see what made the final cut, you’ll be astounded to see what didn’t, including but not limited to:
- Final status agreement about rights to the falafel origin story
- Transfer of Deheisha refugee camp to Israel in exchange for Me’ah Shearim to Palestine
- Blueprint for integration of soccer team fan bases
- Palestine’s eligibility to compete in the Eurovision Song Contest
- #Ooopsie! - The “Nakba” rebranded!
| | | | | Watch T'ruamazon Prime Original Movies! | | | | | | | | | | | Human Rights Violation Cocktail Recipes! They'll get you through the drinking games of 2020! | | | | In response to Trump dogwhistling to Neo-Nazis and white supremacists: Rootless Cosmopolitan In response to mass incarceration: Alabama Slammer In response to election interference: White Russian In response to Democratic mudslinging: MudSlinger (mix equal parts Mudslide and Singapore Slinger) In response to attempts to build a wall on the U.S.-Mexico border: Hardly Wallbungler | | | | | | | | | | | Go and See! Every year, T'ruah sends delegations of rabbis, cantors, and students to witness human rights abuses where they happen: the border with Mexico, the West Bank, Immokalee, Fla. As a T’ruamazon member, you’ll have access to these exclusive new injustice sites! | | | | Bubbe's House on Erev Pesach: She's been slaving away over a dangerous hot stove for weeks without pay in preparation for the seder, but it's fine, it's nothing, she's not one to complain. You said you were rabbis? Not like the rabbis they had in her day, but who is she to say? While concerned onlookers may want to help Bubbe and lighten her load, in this case the best way to be an ally is to let her do everything herself. | | | | The Local Food Co-op: We often worry about workers who don't have enough agency. But what happens when they have too much? Watch co-op members struggle to stay awake in backbreaking chairs while they suffer hour after hour of debate about the right way to stack tallegio. Remember: even hipsters are created in the image of God. Denmark: Though this Nordic country is often held up as an example of excellent public healthcare and education and low income inequality, it gets really exhausting being held up as an example all the time. Citizens are often forced to spend hours a day responding to surveys qualifying their happiness, when they would rather be cycling to their four-day-a-week jobs designing stunning yet functional objects. Sesame Street: Muppets, many of whom are sadly children, suffer under the grueling expectations of their cynical human overlords, including "Gina" and "Alan." Their faces carved into permanent smiles, the muppets aren't physically restrained but have internalized that they may never leave the Street. Those who are unable to remain cheerful in the face of these cruelties are relegated to solitary confinement in a garbage can. The letter of the day is D for Disturbing. Bermuda: There's probably some human rights violations around here somewhere. We're just gonna lie down on the beach with a Rootless Cosmopolitan (see recipe above!) and let the injustice come to us. Includes snorkeling excursion in case there's any bad guys underwater. | | | | | | | | | | You know those times when you want to protest injustice, but you hate the way you feel when you leave police custody? We hear you. T’roop is here with a new line of ArRest-Well Products: For when you want to be disorderly, but not feel disODORly. | | | | At t'roop, we believe that a night in prison can be a productive path to wholeness and wellness, but you have to be prepared! We now offer an “ArRest-Well Kit,” designed to fit perfectly inside your tefillin bag so it won’t get confiscated, which will make your evening in jail just as good for you as it is for the cause. The Kit includes: lavender oil, 6 low-sodium almonds, Fair Trade chocolate bars, Nicotine gum to trade with other prisoners (help them quit smoking!); and Righteous Anger Crystals for political momentum. Also available from t'roop: - ArRest-Well Handcuffs: With “Resisting Tyrants Since Pharaoh” Branding (so cute!)
- ArRest-Well Diet Plan: Intermittent hunger strikes are the key to wellness!
| | | | | | | | | Adjust your T'ruamazon Prime settings T'ruamazon offers a range of personalized settings to meet each user's preferences. | | | | | | | | | | | | T’ruamazon is brought to you by Shira Danan, Rabbi Marisa James, Rob Kutner, Rabbi Ethan Linden, Rabbi Lev Meirowitz Nelson, Rabbi Bill Plevan, and Rabbi Ruhi Sophia Motzkin Rubenstein. | | | | | | | | | | | |
